As I Lay

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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02:47pm Sat, Mar 28, 2009

As I Lay

As I lay in the long grass
Looking up at a perfect blue sky
Smelling the scents of spring
And watching the bees
I'm taken by a thought

What if I were to die right here?
In this grass, looking at the sky
The occasional bee buzzing past
The grass just long enough to hide me
The cool breeze whispering to me

I feel safe and secure, happy even
The grass provides a curtain around me
I feel warm with my arms and legs spread out
Anyone could see me, anyone could find me
Yet I'm not here

I'm in a safer place than my body
I'm in a warmer place than my body
I'm in a more natural world
A more beautiful world
And yet I have not left my body

I am taken by a realisation
If I were to be bleeding to death
In this field and under this sky
In this place with the bees and sun watching
I would still be happy.

Copyright Jade Elizabeth 2007-2009

WRITTEN: 31st of December 2007.
REVISION: Not a revision.
UP FOR REVISION: NO.
INSPIRATION: remembering how I felt as I lay in the long grass in Germany, looking at the sky and longing for my friends back in Australia.
RELEVANCE: Yes.

Amun

Growing Baby Bunny

30 Posts
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Loved the imagery very expressive. Well done

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Thanks Amun

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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I wanna be there! lol
I went to Germany once, and it was very beautiful. And clean. lol
xx

Kimberley

Furry Young Bunny

843 Posts
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Lunar (06:56am Fri, Apr 24, 2009)
I wanna be there! lol
I went to Germany once, and it was very beautiful. And clean. lol
xx

Amun (10:24pm Sat, Mar 28, 2009)
Loved the imagery very expressive. Well done

Agreed with these two! Love this, I can feel what you're talking about.

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Thanks Kimberley

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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i came back to this poem again to read it

takes me away to a happy place.
dont you think? xx

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Yeah, that's the way it's supposed to be

.

Thanks Lunar

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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thats okay

i really like this poem x

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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This one. Yes, this one.

I knew I would stumble upon something decidedly 'ehh' eventually but I did not expect it so soon. Alas, all good runs have to come to an end.

As a poem, this leaves MUCH to be desired. It has no meter, no rhyme, and only focuses on a fleeting moment in time. It's more of a vignette, which is fine, but it doesn't leave much more than an impression of an emotion. There is no story here, just a moment. Which is probably what you wanted to do, but it quite possibly may have been served just as fine without the formatting to make it look like it was supposed to be a poem.

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Andre Vienne (01:11pm Tue, Sep 8, 2009)
This one. Yes, this one.

I knew I would stumble upon something decidedly 'ehh' eventually but I did not expect it so soon. Alas, all good runs have to come to an end.

Are you kidding? This is my favourite - because it's so detatched....but that's how I felt

Andre Vienne (01:11pm Tue, Sep 8, 2009)
As a poem, this leaves MUCH to be desired. It has no meter, no rhyme, and only focuses on a fleeting moment in time. It's more of a vignette, which is fine, but it doesn't leave much more than an impression of an emotion. There is no story here, just a moment. Which is probably what you wanted to do, but it quite possibly may have been served just as fine without the formatting to make it look like it was supposed to be a poem.

How else could I serve it? As an essay?

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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No, like a short story fo- you don't know what a vignette is, do you?

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Andre Vienne (12:52am Thu, Sep 10, 2009)
No, like a short story fo- you don't know what a vignette is, do you?

No. Sounds like a pamphlet or something.

I couldnt serve it as a short story - unless it was formatted like this.

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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Vignettes are useful,

And, wait, what? How does that even make sense?

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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What's that movie where the guy's bleeding to death in the grass and money's falling on him from a helicopter/

It was pretty much how I felt.

I couldnt format it different cause the formatting is how I wanted it read.

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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It's unnecessary, but as I have saidd many times before, I prefer minimalist, utilitarian aesthetics, rather than putting things in strange places for no particular reason.

JoJoAmI

Fluffy Baby Bunny

148 Posts
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I'm really partial to this one Bunny. Love all the contrast.

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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I love how this poem is "formatted", and I certainly wouldn't change it! Not all poems have to be so formal Andre.

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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An office desk need not be organized, but fewer things are lost on a desk that is well kept.

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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Yes, but this is certainly not an office desk, it is poetry, it is a mess sometimes, it is art

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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Modern Art.

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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I happen to liek modern art, but there are many forms of art, no? Poetry is one form, coat pegs are another. Surely you have respect for all forms of art? At least a little?

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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Andre Vienne (01:22pm Thu, Nov 19, 2009)
Modern Art.

Those things are an absolute cow to hang.

Lunar (01:17pm Thu, Nov 19, 2009)
Yes, but this is certainly not an office desk, it is poetry, it is a mess sometimes, it is art

Nice point!

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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Why should I have respect for all forms of art? Modern art is all about how much bullshit you can make your audience swallow. I have no care for something that requires someone to tell me what they meant, or is made so impenetrable that any interpretation is fine.

Respecting all forms of art is like respecting all beliefs. Beliefs are meant to be thrashed, judged, dismantled, just like art, just like arguments, just like ideas.

Lunar

Furrless Old Bunny

1,215 Posts
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What makes you think beliefs are meanst to be thrashed, judges and dismantled? Beliefs are for poeple, not for you to thrash, judge and dismantle. If you don't understand modern art, don't use the excuse of thinking it's stupid Andre.

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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I understand modern art just fine. I think it's a masturbatory method of expression. Like most forms of masturbation, it should e done either with like-minded people, or at least not out on the street. If there's a fat man pulling on his penis, I don't necessarily want to see it, and I'm not obligated to compliment him on his technique if I do.

Beliefs can be held by people, but that doesn't make them sacred. They can be held, or they can be torn apart. I prefer the latter, as it is a grand tradition, dating back to the origin of beliefs themselves. Not to mention, it can be pretty cathartic when the belief is absurd enough.

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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It's a christian belief to have faith questioned, I can't remember the verse that says that, so there's one down with it.

Archangel

Fluffy Baby Bunny

109 Posts
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It's a poem...

Andre Vienne

Furry Young Bunny

666 Posts
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Bunny (02:01pm Fri, Nov 20, 2009)
It's a christian belief to have faith questioned, I can't remember the verse that says that, so there's one down with it.

Presumes that Christians read their own holy book. They generally have no clue what's going on in there.

Archangel (05:41pm Fri, Nov 20, 2009)
It's a poem...

Ain't it grand?

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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I love this woman.

Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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I finally found the movie I based this on...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107808/

Specifically, this scene, or similar rather, inspired it.

elbitjusticiero

Growing Baby Bunny

82 Posts
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Well, I liked it. It's a poem and it's also a vignette, because both categories are not mutually exclusive.

Have you read Anne Sexton?

Bunny

Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
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No I haven't, is she good?

elbitjusticiero

Growing Baby Bunny

82 Posts
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Bunny (02:34am Fri, May 1, 2015)
No I haven't, is she good?

You bet! I think you'd like her, at least.

oraclemay

Growing Baby Bunny

29 Posts
Karma: +1/-0

Well I liked it! I don't care about it being a poem, a mess or modern art. You can classify it the way you like and you can critic it any way you want, that does not make it right. Neither does it mean you will get the attention you want.

This poem takes you to another place, another reality, a very cozy one. It reminds me of the fact that everything comes out of the earth, our food, animals food and all plants. Our ancestors fed off the plants and the animals and we were born from them. Even we come out of the earth and back to the earth we will return. This somehow, kind of makes it OK to be lying in the grass, against the earth. It kind of feels like home to me.

One mans mess is another's treasure.

We are not bothered by the negative when we are surrounded and filled by so much that is positive.

[1]

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About the Author

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Jade Elizabeth (Bunny) is a Poet who has made 6253 posts since joining Creative Burrow on 12:15am Sun, Nov 2, 2008. Bunny was invited by No one (creator of this site).

About Bunny
Jade Elizabeth is an eccentric young woman who enjoys writing stories and poems with hidden deeper meanings. She is quoted saying “Writing to me is not a hobby. It's a passion. It's something that lets my thoughts expose themselves, and my heart shine through where other art could not.”

Commonly her poems are inspired by love or depression, and are dedicated to the people who encouraged the emotion. Given the chance she will readily pull her poems apart, exposing the deeper and hidden meanings behind her words.

Her stories are usually unspoken messages to those close to her – giving every story a hidden meaning. Some things are better left unsaid, or in her case, expressed indirectly through stories.

Jade used to write Documentation for Simple Machines in her free time, but has since begun studying and working, which takes up most of her free time now.

Writing Style
Romance, Fantasy, and Sad Stories and Poems.

Other Works by this Author
Coming Soon