I keep a diary and record every single detail of my day before I go to bed. I'm not sure exactly why I do this but it helps to keep my mind sane I guess. The other day my friend came over to hang out and she saw my diary on my bedside table and she picked it up and asked me if she can read it. And I told her no she can't read it but I'll read some of it for her. Would you do the same? Share your personal record?

I've done that before with a friend, and even though it didn't end badly or anything, I just feel really embarrassed about that so I probably won't do it again.

When I was in therapy with my mother, I was tempted several times to show the diary that I kept during the year of the events that caused a rift between us, but it was so painful to think about that I couldn't even re-read it myself. After my mother passed away, I felt that I could re-read it again, and was sorry not to have shown it because even though I only remembered being miserable writing it, I also turned out to be very articulate. It's like I'd already written everything that I'd ever meant to say. It's probably for the best, though. If I'd seen my mother digging in her heels and continuing with harmful behavior after opening up with that, I don't think I could have remained as sane as I did.

deathbyprayer (10:55pm Thu, Aug 14, 2014)

I keep a diary and record every single detail of my day before I go to bed. I'm not sure exactly why I do this but it helps to keep my mind sane I guess. The other day my friend came over to hang out and she saw my diary on my bedside table and she picked it up and asked me if she can read it. And I told her no she can't read it but I'll read some of it for her. Would you do the same? Share your personal record?

I'm an avid journal writer - I've done it on and off since I was 16.  I think I'd be horrified if anyone ever read it (whilst I'm alive anyway) so I know how you must have felt when your friend asked.  I think it's an odd thing to ask someone because a diary or journal is such a personal thing.  But I think you handled it very well anyway; offering to read some of it to her saved feelings of embarrassment for both of you, and still allowed you to feel in control of your privacy, if you see what I mean. 

EllyMarks (11:16pm Thu, Aug 14, 2014)

I've done that before with a friend, and even though it didn't end badly or anything, I just feel really embarrassed about that so I probably won't do it again.

When I was in therapy with my mother, I was tempted several times to show the diary that I kept during the year of the events that caused a rift between us, but it was so painful to think about that I couldn't even re-read it myself. After my mother passed away, I felt that I could re-read it again, and was sorry not to have shown it because even though I only remembered being miserable writing it, I also turned out to be very articulate. It's like I'd already written everything that I'd ever meant to say. It's probably for the best, though. If I'd seen my mother digging in her heels and continuing with harmful behavior after opening up with that, I don't think I could have remained as sane as I did.

That sounds so sad, EllyMarks.  It does sound like it was for the best that you didn't show it to your mother, as you say.  And good that you finally felt able to read it again. 

I do not have a diary, but if I did happen to get one, then no way.

I would never hand over a journal over in its entirety.

I HAVE referred back to entries and read them to boyfriends in the past when they were more accurate at describing my feelings or back stories than my current mental state could do.

I don't journal any more, though, unfortunately, so I don't even have that as an option.

I write songs and poems, so basically those are my diary. I started writing a diary seperately when I was little but I don't do that anymore. If I wrote a diary, I wouldn't really want anybody to see it because I would definitely write everything that's important and personal to me in there. I would be really embarrassed if someone read it. I would definitely keep it locked away somewhere, so that nobody would be able to find it, not even by accident.

QuirkyJessi (02:31pm Sun, Aug 17, 2014)

I would never hand over a journal over in its entirety.

I HAVE referred back to entries and read them to boyfriends in the past when they were more accurate at describing my feelings or back stories than my current mental state could do.

I don't journal any more, though, unfortunately, so I don't even have that as an option.

I've done that in the past too, and found it very useful to explain my feelings during a particularly tough time.  Some passages in my journal I would willingly read to certain people - if of course it was relevant to that person and the relationship I had or have with them.. But someone reading my journal for the sake of it would make me feel really invaded. 

Quote

But someone reading my journal for the sake of it would make me feel really invaded.

Me too.

I once had a teacher who told me that anything written was intended to be read. She said that even diaries can/should be read by someone eventually. For example, many of us have read Anne Frank's diaries and there's some controversy about whether or not that should've been made public. It's a great piece of history, but it was HER diary...and the world knows all those thoughts and feelings.

I really don't think that what I write in my journals is anyone else's business, though, lol.

QuirkyJessi (01:05pm Tue, Aug 19, 2014)

Quote

But someone reading my journal for the sake of it would make me feel really invaded.

Me too.

I once had a teacher who told me that anything written was intended to be read. She said that even diaries can/should be read by someone eventually. For example, many of us have read Anne Frank's diaries and there's some controversy about whether or not that should've been made public. It's a great piece of history, but it was HER diary...and the world knows all those thoughts and feelings.

I really don't think that what I write in my journals is anyone else's business, though, lol.

That's a good point, about Anne Frank. Apparently, her family edited when she was wondering about how sex worked and stuff like that. I'm kind of torn between, "Hey, don't censor that because people need to really grasp that she was an ordinary human being" and "Nobody had the right to publish this at all, even the parts that wouldn't be awkward and were all about the war" and "But this is an important historical document that's also inspirational". (Also, "she's dead and can't stop us; if you don't want it read ever then don't write it down.")

If I get run over by a car or struck by lightning tomorrow, there would be some immensely embarrassing things in my diary that I don't want the world to remember, but I can't discard it while I'm alive and still think that I'm going to still be alive to look back on those records and make it mean something important privately. So, I'm definitely torn on how private it should be if the diary-keeper is deceased.

QuirkyJessi (01:05pm Tue, Aug 19, 2014)

Quote

But someone reading my journal for the sake of it would make me feel really invaded.

Me too.

I once had a teacher who told me that anything written was intended to be read. She said that even diaries can/should be read by someone eventually. For example, many of us have read Anne Frank's diaries and there's some controversy about whether or not that should've been made public. It's a great piece of history, but it was HER diary...and the world knows all those thoughts and feelings.

I really don't think that what I write in my journals is anyone else's business, though, lol.

I would have to disagree with your teacher, lol.  I don't think my journals will leave any mark on the world, nor will they add any historical context to something that happened when I was alive, as Anne Frank's diaries did.  That said, I won't care who reads them once I'm dead. 

Kitty, that may be true, but do you think  Anne Frank was thinking about leaving her mark on the world at the time? Do you really think she even considered the fact that anyone might ever read them or treasure them at all....much less turn them into a worldwide publication that would teach the world for many years to come? I highly doubt it.

So sure, your day to day thoughts might not hold a lot of value right this very second, but you never know what's going to happen in the next 10 or 20 years...or who you might become....or what those journals could end up adding up to later either.

KittyK (01:29pm Wed, Aug 20, 2014)

I don't think my journals will leave any mark on the world, nor will they add any historical context to something that happened when I was alive, as Anne Frank's diaries did.  That said, I won't care who reads them once I'm dead. 

QuirkyJessi (08:21pm Wed, Aug 20, 2014)

Kitty, that may be true, but do you think  Anne Frank was thinking about leaving her mark on the world at the time? Do you really think she even considered the fact that anyone might ever read them or treasure them at all....much less turn them into a worldwide publication that would teach the world for many years to come? I highly doubt it.

So sure, your day to day thoughts might not hold a lot of value right this very second, but you never know what's going to happen in the next 10 or 20 years...or who you might become....or what those journals could end up adding up to later either.

If any of us are more than 14 years old, we have diaries taking a snapshot of life-as-is at the turn of the millennium, and then there's when the Twin Towers fell, the war against terrorism, the recession, riots, protests...other exciting times.

We are history. We're the crest of the wave of ideologies that our descendants could examine (and make fun of, probably.) How did technological advancements and the Age of Information influence how ordinary people thought, spoke, and acted?

I've shared my diary with my boyfriend before, at least parts of it. It wasn't terribly embarrassing; I tend to be very open with the people I'm closest to.

QuirkyJessi (08:21pm Wed, Aug 20, 2014)

Kitty, that may be true, but do you think  Anne Frank was thinking about leaving her mark on the world at the time? Do you really think she even considered the fact that anyone might ever read them or treasure them at all....much less turn them into a worldwide publication that would teach the world for many years to come? I highly doubt it.

So sure, your day to day thoughts might not hold a lot of value right this very second, but you never know what's going to happen in the next 10 or 20 years...or who you might become....or what those journals could end up adding up to later either.

That's a fair point.  I don't think anyone intends for their journals or diaries to be read, but I still couldn't put my own diaries and journals on a par with Anne Frank's. 

There are writers such as Anais Nin whose private life more or less mirrored the works she wrote, and who would probably be delighted that her journals and diaries were published, whether with or without her permission.  It was Anne Frank's wish to become a writer when she grew up, and I've often felt that her father's decision to have her diary published was (in a way) fulfilling the desire for her, albeit posthumously.  Nevertheless, it ought not to be taken for granted that she wished her diary to become public knowledge, regardless of its popularity. 

I have been writing in a diary for years, but I don't I ask close friends or relatives to read them. My best friend read it, though, when she slept over at our house. I told her I felt bad that she read if without my permission, but secretly I wasn't too bothered because there were hardly any life-shattering secrets in there LOL. The diary had more of my rants and ambitions hehehe.

I personally would not share my journal with anyone. It has my inner most thoughts, doubts and desires that I am not ready or willing to share with anyone as yet.

I have told people how useful they can be, especially when I go back and read how I felt about something and how I have dealt with things or not. Physically writing a journal is a means of release and can be excellent therapy, so I am advising a friend do start one, even though he is on his laptop all the time.

My mother did find my diary once as a child and read it when I was at school and I was furious. I had a special section at the back about how mean she was to me. I don't think she ever knew how I felt until she read it, so perhaps it was meant to have happened.

My diary stays with me now, wherever I am as hand luggage.

It's fun reading your posts guys but I just want to update on things. My friend that I mentioned in this post, she offers me an exchange of diary thing. She's going to hand out her diary for me to read and I'll have to do the same thing. So, will I accept this challenge or not? It's like the ALS Ice bucket challenge, but with no benefit.

Never! Even though it's all in code I would never share it. I share some things here in my blog but I'd never share everything.

deathbyprayer (04:37am Mon, Aug 25, 2014)

It's fun reading your posts guys but I just want to update on things. My friend that I mentioned in this post, she offers me an exchange of diary thing. She's going to hand out her diary for me to read and I'll have to do the same thing. So, will I accept this challenge or not? It's like the ALS Ice bucket challenge, but with no benefit.

Personally, I wouldn't - I don't see the point really.  What would you gain by reading your friend's diary?  What if you read something that hurt you or made you think differently about your friend?  And what if she didn't like something she read in your diary?  Do you really want to open yourself up to that? 

These are questions I would seriously consider if I were you.  I can't see the benefit of it, but maybe you both have a particular reason for why you want to do it.  It's such a private and delicate thing.

Think carefully before you do it.   

KittyK (03:33am Tue, Aug 26, 2014)

deathbyprayer (04:37am Mon, Aug 25, 2014)

It's fun reading your posts guys but I just want to update on things. My friend that I mentioned in this post, she offers me an exchange of diary thing. She's going to hand out her diary for me to read and I'll have to do the same thing. So, will I accept this challenge or not? It's like the ALS Ice bucket challenge, but with no benefit.

Personally, I wouldn't - I don't see the point really.  What would you gain by reading your friend's diary?  What if you read something that hurt you or made you think differently about your friend?  And what if she didn't like something she read in your diary?  Do you really want to open yourself up to that? 

These are questions I would seriously consider if I were you.  I can't see the benefit of it, but maybe you both have a particular reason for why you want to do it.  It's such a private and delicate thing.

Think carefully before you do it.   

Yeah you're right but it's more of a trust factor between us, we're really best friends so it's like a dare for the both of us. But on my part I never really took my diary that seriously and I'm sure that I didn't write anything raunchy or plain insulting for both me and my friend there so I guess I'm cool with it, but in my friends diary though well that I'm not sure.

It's crazy fun we'll try it when she gets here tomorrow!

deathbyprayer (04:37am Mon, Aug 25, 2014)

My friend that I mentioned in this post, she offers me an exchange of diary thing. She's going to hand out her diary for me to read and I'll have to do the same thing. So, will I accept this challenge or not?

I'd do it if I were you, on the condition that you both start with fresh notebooks. Then it's like snail mail without the inconvenience of loose sheets of paper and opening envelopes.

There's a book called "Storycatchers" by Christina Baldwin, where she described this little boy who got a stepmother. He left his diary out, open to a page, because he wanted her to read his tirade of "I will never call you mother!!" And she just flipped over to a clean page and wrote back to him, like, "I know you're heartbroken. My own father left me when I was young, and it took a long time to get that story and even longer to heal my heartbreak. Let's keep writing to each other about the things that break our hearts." Or something. They never talked about what they wrote, but what they wrote changed how they talked to each other. So...sounds like it can work out well sometimes.

EllyMarks (10:48am Sat, Aug 30, 2014)

deathbyprayer (04:37am Mon, Aug 25, 2014)

My friend that I mentioned in this post, she offers me an exchange of diary thing. She's going to hand out her diary for me to read and I'll have to do the same thing. So, will I accept this challenge or not?

I'd do it if I were you, on the condition that you both start with fresh notebooks. Then it's like snail mail without the inconvenience of loose sheets of paper and opening envelopes.

There's a book called "Storycatchers" by Christina Baldwin, where she described this little boy who got a stepmother. He left his diary out, open to a page, because he wanted her to read his tirade of "I will never call you mother!!" And she just flipped over to a clean page and wrote back to him, like, "I know you're heartbroken. My own father left me when I was young, and it took a long time to get that story and even longer to heal my heartbreak. Let's keep writing to each other about the things that break our hearts." Or something. They never talked about what they wrote, but what they wrote changed how they talked to each other. So...sounds like it can work out well sometimes.

Wow that sounds like a really good story. I might read it sometime, thanks! Yup, we've done it and it was really awesome. We now write stories to each other, like twisted versions of our days. It was really fun.

I like the idea of your story-exchanging idea - that sounds like good, creative fun!  And at least it's not delving into your private thoughts directly.  Doing it in a story-like manner keeps your dignity intact too.   

I've shared mine several times. It depends on the person and the reason, and it takes a fair bit for me to share it...but there you have it.

My entire diary is written in the form of a fantasy novel, with places and things from everyday life taking different forms in the novel. You could think of it as extensive allegory.
So yes, I have shown it to people, but it doesn't really matter since they do not know what to look for and where.

Alfren (01:43am Mon, Sep  8, 2014)

My entire diary is written in the form of a fantasy novel, with places and things from everyday life taking different forms in the novel. You could think of it as extensive allegory.
So yes, I have shown it to people, but it doesn't really matter since they do not know what to look for and where.

I am slowly coming around to the idea of diary sharing - or certain aspects of it anyway.  Some of the ideas people have for recording their thoughts and their day to day lives are really creative.  I like your idea of doing it in the form a fantasy novel where nobody would be able to find anything you didn't want them to. 

Maybe it's just an old fashioned idea that journals and diaries are so private you'd never let anyone read them? I think it's great that things are evolving, and people are finding more and more ways of doing things differently. 

KittyK (10:43am Sat, Sep  6, 2014)

I like the idea of your story-exchanging idea - that sounds like good, creative fun!  And at least it's not delving into your private thoughts directly.  Doing it in a story-like manner keeps your dignity intact too.   

Oh we do go in deep with our private lives but of course its all metaphor we use, we've agreed on that because it's still a diary after all. Like for example, we would write "hypothetical" scenarios which may or may not be true that way the diary entry is still private in it's own since there's no way for each of us to know if it's true or just made up.

I used to always keep a diary when I was young, and especially when I was in high school. My parents both always stressed the respect of another person's privacy; so I do not think that either of them read my diary.
Since I was an only child; there was no concern that anyone else would read it, either. I put in all of my feelings about things as well as just what took place that day.
After I grew up and got married; I packed the old diary along for a while, and then sat and read through everything again; decided that I didn't need it anymore, and didn't want anyone else reading it. So, I read it and then I burned it.
Now, if I keep anything like a diary, it is just superficial stuff, like what day we moved somewhere, or someone I know got married; things that it would not make any difference if someone found and read it.
 
I have always been a person who values my privacy, so sharing any part of my life, or innermost thoughts; is simply not something that I casually do , even with my close friends.

No. I don't think that I will share my diary with someone ever even with my fiancee. There are some things in life that really cannot be shared, and one of those, is a diary.