I wrote this a long long time ago, to a boy who used to go to my school. He was known for telling lies, like how he'd wrestled an alligator or flown to Iraq and back in a fighter plane.

Anyway, one morning he was dragged our of school by heavily armed policemen. Apparently there was a rumour that he'd created a hit list going around. My best friend and I thought that was absolute crap, but nether-the-less he was charged for terroristic threats and expelled.

To add to the drama, I was told that I was number one on the list and he would be back on Monday to shoot me and others on his list. I was number one for rejecting him (date wise, I was okay to be a friend).

That Monday came around and three people had brought guns to school, that counts the middle school (which was about a football field length away). We made the news (which I can't find at the moment) and I was officially spooked, but didnt join in on the drama. I became spooked when I saw he who shall be called Thompson walking through the building with an adult. I later found he was having a hearing, which had been moved forward from Tuesday over the weekend - so yeah. I still think it's stupid to have a hearing on school property, especially when the school is high strung with teenagers crying and spreading rumours.


Anyway, this was a few months later.

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Dear Thompson,
   I'm not sure if you will get this, or if your parents will be screening your mail for death threats and love letters. But I’m going to try.
   I was wondering how you are, and how you have been. I've been going to church lately and I'm glad to be back there as I've missed it a lot. If you haven’t lost faith in god again, which I truly hope so, maybe you could join me at church on my birthday? My church…My birthday is august 12th, a Sunday, and I turn eighteen. They pray a long time, but it’s all good. It’s the weirdest church I've ever been too (it’s run by Americans lol), but I feel like I fit right in. Maybe you would feel like you fit in there and not like you’re in the spotlight and alienated from the people who surround you. That’s how I felt before I went to this church. Afterwards I felt safe…I can't survive a week without it now, and I missed one and I must have cried all week. Anyway, I hope you can come.
   From this church I learnt some things- some things that I will pass on to you. I feel they will benefit you as they have me, and in more or less ways as well. Before I do, I just want you to know that god is real, and he is there. There have been three pinpoints in my own life where I can claim that.  The most recent one I just wanted to die, I was crying like an idiot, feeling like an idiot, and seriously contemplating suicide. I wanted to turn to someone, and I had no one. My neighbours I didn’t want to disturb (he's a priest) and I had no one I could call. I'm a bad child, I don’t do anything worthy enough of gods attention (even though you might think differently. I don’t read the bible when I know I ought too, I sin too much. I don’t pray enough. I say bad things, and I think bad things and I do bad things. I don’t listen when he tells me to do something (although I'm listening now for a change). Everything that makes me unworthy, people can't see.) But I said “god help me. This shouldn’t be affecting me this much. I don’t know why it is but I need help” and no joke I stopped crying suddenly. It stopped hurting. The pain over what happened might as well have never been there. It wasn’t even a prayer. I just said it and it was gone. I was blown away. I've been thinking about a way science could explain that for days (it could explain my other 2 miracles but its less of a long shot to believe god did it, since I asked him) and I cannot come up with one. Because even if I decided I wasn’t going to let it hurt me, it still would. But anyway, here are some things that I've learnt;
   “You reap what you sow”. It’s true. If I plant corn I'll get corn, not cabbages. Basically, if you do things in hatred or spite, or if you tell lies and stories its going to come back to you. You saw it, either you started the hit list story, or someone else did and either way it came back and hit you in the face. Why? Because you reap what you sow! You told lies all the time, why should you find it a surprise that a lie is your undoing? I don’t mean that in a mean way like it sounds. You never really told me stories-and if you did I told you it was crap anyway.
   Being Christian doesn’t mean we live problem free. Popular belief is that Christians have perfect lives, but in reality we don’t. If anything, god lets us dig our own holes and sit in them for a while before helping us out. Like depression. If I had not gotten and suffered depression for four years I would have been a horrible person today. I wouldn’t be so caring, so open-minded, so nice and tolerant as I am today. Why? Because depression taught me to see from other points of view, it taught me to respect other people, it taught me not to bully people because I didn’t like it and it taught me to love and forgive others. I learnt pretty quick that it made me feel bad to hold a grudge (although it occupied me for a while) and I learnt that people liked me more for not being a bully, for standing up for them even if it was the very person who had bullied me not a minute before. So by living through trials, our lives improve. Even though it may not seem like it.
   Man causes mans suffering. Okay I knew this already, but I just wanted to tell you anyway. God gave man free will. That means god lets man run around naked if he chooses. But if he runs in the snow and gets pneumonia and dies, is it gods fault or the mans fault? The mans. Just because god said you have the freedom to choose what you do doesn’t mean he said you wouldn’t have consequences. Like, if your parents let you do what ever you wanted and you decided to make a hit list and got caught…whose fault? Yours, gods, or your parents? Yours. Because god gave you free will (the ability to make decisions and reap the consequences) and he gave you parents to teach you right from wrong so you wouldn’t mess up on those decisions. But if you do that’s okay. Everyone messes up. God still loves you anyway. God forgives you. He forgives me too even though I really don’t think I deserve it.
   So your recent pile of shit (situation) can be a blessing or curse to you. If you take gods hand and let him clean you up and get you back on your feet then you will feel better and learn from this mistake. Otherwise you can sit in it (the shit-your situation-what ever it may be) for a while. Or try to pull yourself out, but I'm telling you now, the world wants you to stay there. The world believes if you do it once you will do it again.
   I don’t know where you are. I don’t know if you’re in a cell somewhere, or a hospital or at home reading this. But write back to me, or call me, my cell is [removed] if you forgot. I hope you’re safe and healthy, and walking with god.

Jade

Wow you have an interesting life there Bunny. You have some great points there too!

Danke Kimberley .