When I was 17.9 I freaked right out about my birthday, and turning 18. I didnt want to become an adult, and you can see from these two poems as to why:

Eighteen
Eighteen II

I felt like it would be the end of my world. That I couldnt be my playful self, and it would be scalded so much that I'd have to resort to drastic clinging to keep myself. It was the essence of my being inside me, my poetry, this website, my other sites, my energy...I thought I couldnt have any of that anymore and I would have to become mature. I felt like I couldnt have a teddy. I'd have to wear lace underwear. I couldnt have hobbies or passion for things, and I'd have to work and be bland. Empty. I saw it as a death, and approached it with the same fear.

I'm not sure where I got this fear from, or the ideas about adults. Let's go with I was overly sheltered and told I'd have to be a "big girl" and leave it there. Regardless, I called home from America and talked to my dad on the phone...and here's the conversation I found which was on a very old blog I have (but I corrected spelling mistakes).

Quote

I just got off the phone to dad, and here's the conversation:

“hey Jadey!”
“hey dad”
“how are you?”
“I'm okay..”
“well you got your countdown going on now”
“I know” *lip wobbles*
“how long till you turn 18?”
“8 days”
“8 days?”
“yeah.. that’s the problem” *cries*
“oh what's wrong?”
“I don’t wanna turn 18”
“what?”
“I don’t wanna turn 18 dad”
“why?”
“I don’t wanna be an adult”
*laughs*
“don’t laugh at me” *laughs back (pathetically)* “that’s not fair”
“oh Jadey you're already an adult”
“no I'm not”
“yes you are, what do you thinks going to happen?”
“I have to act like an adult and if I get in trouble I get in trouble like an adult”
“you already act like an adult”
“no I don’t” *sniffles*
“do you think the decisions you make today will be different tomorrow? You're intelligent, and beautiful and you have a lot going for you”
*stops crying and begins breathing* “but if I get into trouble…”
“you never get into trouble Jadey”
*argues about the difference between adult and teenage justice*
“do you remember my song 17?” (for the record: he's a rock star )
“no…I don’t have any of your cd’s hint hint!”
*sings* “17 years 17 years, I'll be 43 what will my children see in me?”
“never heard it”
“I wrote that before you were born”
“huh? You were scared to be a dad?”
“yeah”
“that makes no sense”

That’s when I got the moral- it made no sense for me to fear being an adult when I was already, or when I would be a great one…because it made no sense for dad to fear being a dad when he already was one, and when he was going to be a great one. Well that’s the message dads trying to give me, but I don’t feel like an adult.

It was an interesting find nonetheless!! I love my dad .

Aww - that's really sweet of your Dad! I think a lot of us find ourselves with a birthday that we dread for whatever reason. Like one of my best friends right now is dreading her 30th because she doesn't want to be that "old" and still be single like she is. But hey, she's got a lot going for her and I know she's going to be ok

Yeah! It was pretty rough at the time, but looking back nothing really changed. Except I became instant pudding.

Instant pudding??

On my birthday I was in the backseat of the car driving back from my birthday dinner, and Tiannah, my best friend, was sitting next to me.
heres our conversation;
"You know how when people turn 18" <Tiannah
*Looks at her like shes a freak* "Naw...enlighten me"
"No serious...they change" pause "for some people its instant parties and instant drugs..."
*laughs*
"for others its instant maturity" <Tiannah
"Really?"
"Yeah I wonder what your going to be?"
"Instant pudding"

She laughed so hard she almost lost dinner lol

That's AWESOME!