One of the joys and perks of being in the Ovum Office is that occasionally I can wield my pseudo power.
Has anyone realized that ALL the reindeer that pull Santa’s sleigh are male? Why is this? Perhaps when Clement Moore wrote “Twas the Night Before Christmas” we lived in quite a different world. That’s fine, BUT I’m using my limited power”s to amend that.
By proclamation of the Ovum Office I do hear by declare an amendment to the reindeer names to include the following quite southern and charming female names:
1.Bubbilicious: Quite the flirt, uses her feminine wiles to distract and the occasional boob flash at the cops who dare to stop Santa for speeding.
2. Sweetie Pie: Demure yet charming, her big southern style hair shields prying childs eyes from the secrets of the toy shop.
3 Darlin: Her sheer knockout looks procure free coffee for the entire crew who slave til dawn to complete the mission.
4. Cher: The go-to girl when anyone needs an ear.
5. Candy: As sweet as she sounds, she is capable of placating the workers by sweet talking them.
6. Babe: Well put together, her manicured nails, along with six-inch stiletto heels make her a shoe-in for maintenance jobs that require sharp tools.
7. Bubba Sue: As the name suggests, she’s a bit rough around the edges, and capable of strong-arming people into submission.
8. Velveeta: Made totally of man-made materials, and botox she stops traffic for smooth travel of the sleigh. People just stop and gawk.
The final reindeer, after much consideration, and a personal favorite of mine:
9: Sugar: Leadership skills, along with brains, she can do anything that needs to be done.
Now that I have promoted women to the forefront of Christmas lore, I can rest a bit easier.
I just hope that the Secret Service keeps the reality show hopefuls out of my office!
Jojoami
Breaking News :)28 November 2009, 2:00 pmSource: The Ovum Office
Novelist Bunnies: Do you write in order? 
