It was during the sermon at church yesterday that I began to ponder this subject. It's not a new one. I've pondered this one before many times. Coming at it from different directions, of course. It's no longer surprising that they all lead to the same place.
It being the advent season the sermon was all about joy. Biblical joy. The kind that pervades every avenue of your life and character. The kind that is not dependent on the presence (or absence) of any person, thing or circumstance; but just is, springing forth from a deep and abiding faith in our creator God.
If you, reading this, have not this joy, I hope you find it in your life as it is the very air that your spirit breathes in.
Anyway, the thing I locked onto was when the pastor made a rather quick mention of the devil coming in and convincing a person that he or she was unloved. A result of that being that even at the family festive gathering this person would go off alone, not mingle and just generally sulk in a surrounding tangible darkness. All of this, of course, being not only the devil's way of keeping a choke hold on the one who believes their self to be unloved, but also the devil's way of trying to steal a bit of that biblical joy from those who have it.
We have in our family one such as this. A person who is just miserable in anger and obviously feeling unloved. The pastor didn't say exactly how the devil attempts to steal joy from those who have it, but it led me to what I've been pondering. Which is, how do you help that person?
Worry over that, I think, is the principle means that the devil uses in this situation to steal joy from those  who have it. Worry over it requires that you believe that there is something you can do, something you're missing, that will ultimately help the person who insists on feeling miserable and unloved, when in fact there is not.
There is nothing you can do but pray, allowing God to lift this burden from off of your shoulders, and accepting that no person is ever at any time responsible for the happiness of another person. All we can do is to do our best to show love to another, leaving the rest up to God.
Joy, or lack of it, is always a thing of the spirit. It is hinged upon our faith in God and our relationship with him and it always determines how we react to the negative things we inevitably come up against in this world. It can't be given, save by God alone. It can only be received. And even God himself can't make a person receive it before they're ready to feel his undying love.

Thank you for this great uplifting story. I have had the blues this holiday season and have not been able to pinpoint the source of the unhappiness. It just gas not been a good holiday season for me. I try to pray and fill my world with Christmas joy, but it does not seem to come. It makes sense that the devil would try to invade and bring me down. I will not let that happen and I will pray harder now.

The feeling of being loved is an important one and everyone should be able to feel it in their heart. When you feel love you are naturally happy because love is the best joy around. Sometimes when a person is feeling down, all they need is a hug or words of encouragement, and it can really change their world around. There is nothing worse than going through a hard time and feel like you are alone in the process.

RR. I thank you for the thank you and for letting me know that you found my story to be uplifting. And you are right. Sometimes all one needs is a little hug, an understanding smile or an encouraging word in order to be lifted out of the doldrums.
But sometimes the problem is deeper than the doldrums and we find that no amount of small kindnesses seems to help. Or big ones, either. That's when we know that there is a sickness in the spirit and that God is the only one who is going to heal it. And that's also when we have to remind ourselves, sometimes, to quit beating ourselves up and get out of his way while he does what he does to help.
As well, we have to accept that the person afflicted, unless we are that person, might not now (or possibly ever) be receptive to God's love. All we can do then is pray; and, again, get out of his way and let him do what he does.
I think you know that you are not alone. And I hope you have a peaceful, merry Christmas. Just try not to let expectations get in your way. That's another of the devil's favorite stumbling blocks. God takes us through things the way that they are. Not the way that we would have them to be, so let all of your expectations be of God.
Gosh, I hope someone reminds me of this the next time I'm up against it. And again, have a peaceful, merry Christmas.

I used to be like that....but it was because people were being mean and they didn't realise it. I'm extremely sensitive and when I moved back to Aus after 7 years people were still treating me like a child. It was extremely rude and I felt alienated. They didn't know they were doing it. I told dad I wasn't going to go to Christmas 2 years ago because of it and he talked to the family on my behalf. I was dragged there and I had the best time ever!

What was happening was as a child I would never shut up. I would interrupt and talk loud and excitedly. I still do but not like I used to. When I walked into the room I was told by 3 separate people to sit down and shut my mouth and let the adults talk. It was in no uncertain terms. Every time I tried to add to the conversation I was told x and y were talking or to wait, and I was NEVER once given a turn.

It's hard enough to have a turn when all of them are siblings and are reminiscing about things before my time, without having to deal with things I can relate to being shut down too. I ended up sitting there without anyone but one aunt talking to me asking how I was. When I left the room I said I was tired when that same aunt asked if I was okay. I was not tired, I was miserable and heartbroken .

That entire night only that one aunt asked me how I was and spoke to me like an equal. At the time I was 22/23 I am the oldest of all the "children" and I was treated like the youngest.


After dad spoke to them they made a real effort to include me initially but as time wore on they found I could include myself if they just allowed me to - I could join in if I wasn't pushed out.


So my point is....yes sometimes people are angry and depressed but sometimes they are hurting because of something they may not be able to talk about or put to words. Maybe you can light up their dark corner by asking how they are and talking to them like a good friend, instead of like a child or delicate person. Help them out of their shell. Help them feel loved and included. Often times when we feel unloved we just need someone to remind us we are worthy and valuable, and that people do love us.


As for god, I know for damn certain he loves each and every one of us.....see my story:
I had an awful nightmare a doctor raped me before a pelvic exam when I was in GA. I was 19. Mum was upstairs getting ready to drive me and I was moping and putting shoes on downstairs. I was pretty shaken from the dream still and I thought I would probably kill myself if that happened. I decided I definitely would as I put my shoes on, in such a definitive way that it was honestly the only path I could see at all after such trauma (it was extremely traumatic).

A pain I cannot describe went through my body like my soul itself was acid. It was so painful, more painful than anything I have ever felt in my life or ever will feel. I collapsed unable to breathe and a voice said to me something along the lines of how dare I take my life, I am perfect and God made me perfect and I have no right to destroy his work (take a life) and the pain I was in was only a fraction of the pain I would cause doing that. When mum came down stairs I was white faced and pulling myself up off the floor (I was so terrified I was completely white). When I got to the doctors she told me she couldn't do the exam on me because I looked terrified, white, and was shaking, and she did not want to traumatise me (go figure). I have NEVER told this story publicly and am a bit worried in doing so as it is extremely personal.


As for the both of you, I love you both VERY much, and that is in no way a joke. I love each and every one of you guys so passionately just saying it has my eyes brimming with tears. So put that in a box under your Christmas tree <3.

Bunny, you bless my socks off just by being your adorable self. I think this was a great place to share your story and I'm honored that you did. Have a wonderful Christmas. I know you'll bring joy wherever you spend it.

Bunny has made a huge point here. When you are unable to talk or to get your point accross, it can really hurt especially when you have something valuable to add to the conversation. Sometimes people just need to talk and express themselves. I know that I get frustrated and upset when I have a good idea about something, or can raise a point that nobody else has thought of, and nobody wants to give me the opportunity to express that thought or opinion.

I can really see what Bunny is saying, too. When I was growing up, children were expected to "be seen and not heard" as the old saying went. We waited until the adults were seated at the table and had filled their plates before we got our food, and we all knew better than to interrupt any adult conersation.
Since this was how it was for just about all kids; I think that we didn't take it as personal as if it had only been happening to each of us individually; but we all still would have liked to join in the conversations and be part of the "adult world", too.
I think that sometimes nowdays, people concentrate too much on being loved, and not enough on being loving, and that is part of the reason that they feel unloved is because they are not focusing on giving love, and then receiving it back.