About the Author
Membership InfoSifu Philip Bonifonte (SifuPhil) is a Writer who has made 426 posts since joining Creative Burrow on 03:51pm Wed, Aug 22, 2012. SifuPhil was invited by No One.
About SifuPhil7 Things You’d Probably Rather Not Know About Me But I’m Going To Tell You Anyway
1. I can speak four languages.
I know English, Spanish (just curses) American and Female. (Okay, I can only say ‘Please don’t strike me again’ in Female, but you never know when that will come in handy.)
2. I have written twenty-three first-grade children’s books.
Unfortunately the language and actions contained within are totally inappropriate even for adults, so they are sitting forlornly on the shelf. Someday I will sell them. Probably to some guy in a custom-made raincoat.
3. I was attacked once by a mob of angry dolphins in Key West, Florida.
OK, so it was a “pod”, smart-ass. I was on one of those “Swim with the Dolphins” cruises and was teasing the crap out of those slippery bastards – “Get the stick! Get the stick!” – and then I’d hide it under my arm. They fell for it every time. Jerks.
After I had come out of the water and returned to the beach-front mansion I was renting, I fell asleep to the sounds of surf and sea-birds. I woke up looking like chum. They even shoved star-fish in my Speedos.
4. I can recite every Bugs Bunny cartoon ever produced from 1940-1960
(The Golden Age)
I can still sing ‘Kill The Wabbit’ all the way through, complete with the hand motions, dance steps and all the sound effects. Both parts – Bugs AND Elmer. Since leaving the institution, I have only sung it once in public.
5. When I was in third grade, I wanted to be a professional hit-man for the Mob.
Different goal. Strange child. I got laughed at. Once.
6. I’m a reader, a feeder and a collector.
In my spare time, I like reading 19th century pornography (‘Oh, Cuthbert!’), preparing gourmet meals for stray cats and collecting those little pieces of broken crack-pipes you find here and there.
7. When I get bored, I like to make things up.
I love turning the sound off on old B&W movies and doing my own dialogue.
Writing StyleParody and satire, non-fiction, poetry
Other Works by this AuthorComing Soon
Novelist Bunnies: Do you write in order? 
